orang muda

ingat lagi satu hari dulu

masa kita terbang tak terpenjuru

kita muda dan terburu buru

kita tidak boleh bersatu

walau apa pun yang berlaku

kerana aku tidak cintakan kamu

jadi duduk sahaja diam disitu

you are blind

you make her smile
and you stay for a while
until one day you hide
and the next day you come out with a lie

she can't get along
and you give her one love song
but it doesn't last long

she think about nothing else
but you love her less and less
you created a lot of mess

one day she cry again
the next day you heal her pain

when she decided to stay
you chose to walk away
but she stayed anyway
but you were just too scared

when you said you need more time
it was her heart on the line
and she was one of a kind
but you were just too blind

you keep slashing her heart
she cried every single night

the night she died
you were too high to cry

and now you cant smile
or even hide

you can't think of a love song
and you cant get along

you can't run away
and you can't even stay

you cry every single night
thinking how to make it right

hush and shut

when you have no idea
shut

when you know you're wrong
shut

clench your fist
and shut

when you have so much to talk about
shut

do not be a slut
just shut

hush hush
just shut

jangan segan

ukirkan satu senyuman
jangan segan
berjalan perlahan

tanggalkan pakaian
jangan segan
tadahkan tangan

berjalan perlahan
tumpukan perhatian
mana dia arah dan tujuan

jalan ke depan
jangan bagi harapan

jangan terbang
jangan melayang

kuatkan kaki
pulang ke sini

jangan salah erti
jangan mencaci
jangan maki

cari sendiri

blind and high

no light
on a lovely night

make no sound
and no one bounce

sit still
no one blink

play a song
let me sing along

no sun
on a lovely night
and moon is bright

smile
for a little while
sit down and lie
but dont cry when i die

shut the door
look at the corridor
you will never know
sorrow..

think and blink
bones and teeth
dont feed

love is a piece of shit

love is beautiful ?
no, it is fool..

love is kind ?
no, you're just blind

love makes you sing ?
no, it stinks

love is everything ?
no, its just a feeling

love makes you commit ?
yes, but it happens only when you start the vomit

love makes you happy ?
no way, its just a piece of shit

They Fuck

they were friends..
not good friends
just friends..

she loved the other guy
he loved the other girl
but they liked each other

he smiled
she smiled back

the other guy is pathetic
the other girl is bullshit

she cries
he cries
they cried

he's being fucked
and the other girl makes him stuck

she's being left like an idiot
and the other guy said its hilarious

he has been fucked
she has been fucked
and so they fuck
and they got stucked

they thought it was too fast
but still they had breakfast

he sings a love song
she sings along

SHE TALKED

i heard she talked about others who talked about her
but she didnt know everyone talks about her

i heard she talked about others who talked about her
but she never mention she fucked the other guy

i heard she talked about others who talked about her
but she never realizes that the truth does hurts

i heard she talked about others who talked about her
and she keep on talking to the wall

i heard she talked about others who talked about her
and she mentioned that they irritates her

i heard she talked about others who talked about her
but she never said that she sent the other guy a green letter

i heard she talked about others who talked about her
but she tell everyone she's missing him

i heard she talked about others who talked about her
but she never said she thanked the other guy for the other night

i heard she talked about others who talked about her
but she didnt know the other guy was gay

i heard she talked about others who talked about her
but she didnt know that her friends laughed at her

i heard she talked about others who talked about her
and she pretended like she was always there

she had an ugly face that everyone could hate
she had an ugly heart that everyone could hate
she had fake opinions that everyone could hate

and so she had her own point of view
and so she had something to say
and so she said it
and she will never shut her mouth

and she realizes he never loved her
they just want to fuck her
and so she suffer..

tiga purnama

tiga purnama aku duduk kaku
tiga purnama aku termangu sayu
tiga purnama aku menangis berlagu

my bestfriend's lie

i have a bestfriend..
shes beautiful in and out..
we've been bestfriend since i was 12 and she was 11..
eversince that age, we did everything together and we kept no secret..
and to us, it is totally normal if we had fight.. because we totally understand each other..
we were mad for each other for days and we cant live without each other either..
whenever we had fight, we never keep anything inside to spoil our best relationship that ever existed.. i loved her and i know she loved me too..
that's why we are special..
when we were in high school,
all the kids always thought that we were lesbian.
and we let them think that way coz we thought its kinda cool.. ( yea right.. )
and as the relationship goes on and on and on,.
we went through tough times together.
Everything we did, we did it together.

when i was 17, i went through my tough teenage crisis
where my first love was a total jerk,. (thats y he left in the first place)..
i was just too naive to understand and to handle such simple and stupid teenage drama..
i cried so hard coz i lost my first love.. and guess what..
there she is,. be there for me every single minute when i was down.
she said
she can feel my pain just by looking at me crying like that.
( and i think everyone cudve said the same thing whenever they saw me cry horribly),.
but its diferent when your bestfriend's the one who said it,.
maybe thats because no one said it and she's the only bestfriend i got and yea,. she said it.. so,.
i really do aprechiate her for being there for me all the time..
most of the time,. i always experienced things before her ( i wonder why ),.
like having a jerk as a boyfriend,. i remember she said

" i dont know how to advice you coz ive never felt this way,. but i know i will understand one day and i know everyone will surely experience these kinda thing,. which including me,. and right now you have to be powerfully strong for me so that you'll learn your lesson and you have to be there for me whenever i need your advice.."

the way she said it is different.. and it works..
its undeniable that every each type of relationship does have their ups and down..
we do had fights,. we do snarl to each other sometimes, we do had different opinions here and there..
but most of the time, we laugh together..

ave you ever feel so seriously comfortable with someone in your life whenever you shared a secret that cudve ruin your life if they spill that secret's out? but you just know in your heart that that someone will never let you down?
thats what i always feel about her whenever i share my secrets.. she is trustworthy,. enough said..
i always so jealous (in a positive way) of her life..
she seems to be always luckier than me.. in school,. everyone wanna be her friends,.
and every guy wants to be her boyfriend and so on,.
coz i know she is kind hearted (originally,. not plastic at all) and plus, she's beautiful..
but she always end up seeking advice from me,.
telling me stories and secrets that no one knows except me,.
because i am her bestfriend and she said im the only one who understands her.. truly.. :)
as she is now a stewardess,. and living her busy scheduled life,.
she said she could hv been happier if im with her,.
i trust her words coz she always meant what she said..
whenever we meet up,. we laughed so hard and even if we had those big fat full of shits life,.
it doesnt matter at all,. we will always feel better whenever we are together..

and last two weeks,.
we planned ourselves a nice vacation with few friends invited and few grasses ordered to get high to have a great fucking time together..
i waited for her for like two weeks for this vacation. but turn out to be,.
she let me down.. so hard..
she said she was stucked somewhere in China coz theres a problem with her flight there..
( i was worried like hell but she never answer any of my calls.. so i assume there's something wrong with the coverage maybe .. )
and so i waited for her msgs and calls.. but yea,. no single msg,. no call,. nothing ..
and then the next day she said

 "im sorry i cudnt meet you coz i need to meet Bad". ( Bad is her current bf )
and there goes my dissapointment..
and i tried to ignore those disappointment coz i know how she loved him,.
and how she always wanted to be with him and things like that,..
and so i ignore my anger towards her..

but then the next day she suddenly leave me a strange message to my number..

" im sorry i cudnt make it,. please dont be mad,. i just arrived from KJ,. i was stuck in China for two days.. i promise i'll make it up to you, pls dont be mad.."
and i was like

WWWWHHHHAAAATTT TTTHHEEEE FFFFUUUUUCCCCKKK?????

was she drunk when she told me that she needed to meet her bf that she accidentally told me the truth?
and i cant stand it i have to reply her.. i said

"i thought you said you need to meet your boyfriend.." ( without a question mark,. u know what i mean?)

and she didnt reply me until now..
things could have been better if she just tell me the truth, isnt she?
and i cud hv never be this mad if she just call me and tell me that she wants to spend time with his lovly bf..
i wont mind.. but i cant stand that she lied to me and she accidentally told me the truth and then lie again.. was she drunk or has she lost her mind?
i was totally disappointed.. and how i felt is unexplainable ..

but what greatbestfriends are for if they dont forgive and forget right.. ?
im sure this will be one of our jokes one day..
no matter what she did to me i'll still love her..
and im writing this because i missed her..

jika tidak berjaya

jika kita tidak berjaya

jangan lemah dengan kata kata

jika kita tidak berjaya

jangan inginkan apa yang tiada

jika kita tidak berjaya

ini bukan kali pertama

bangkit sahaja jiwa dan raga

jika kita tidak berjaya

jangan lemah dimamah usia

jangan tidur dengan lena

jangan makan maggi segera

jika kita tidak berjaya

usaha lagi hingga berjaya

MALAM PERTAMA KITA

yang merah jadi hitam
yang putih jadi kelam
yang hijau jadi manis
yang pahit jadi sinis

rosak satu aqidah
rosak dua aqidah

pecah satu tembelang
pecah dua tembelang

tiada adab lagi yang tinggal
tiada kata lagi yang sopan
makin banyak rahsia perlu disimpan

satu perigi diamkan diri
satu timba yang mencari cari
mereka saling cinta mencintai
mereka sesat di alam fantasi

teruna berkeris mula berseru
"telanjangkan dirimu satu persatu
kucuplah aku puaskan hatimu"

terkulai sidara dihanyut nafsu
lalu dia merayu rayu
"ratah dada ku semahu kamu
keraskan batangmu, puaskan aku!"

keringat tadi belum lagi hilang
lagi sekali kita di ranjang
lagi sekali kita telanjang
tapi janji, jangan ada yang hilang

yang longlai menjadi kaku
yang berkata kini bisu
yang ketawa bertukar sayu
yang keliru menjadi satu
yang berdosa kau dan aku!!

NOTHING LEFT

No more hopes

Just ropes

No dreams

Because there's no sleep

No happiness

But hollowness

No more love bird

Just mocking bird

No more you

Because there's no me

No captivation

As there are no interest

Nothing more is all he had left

Nothing more is all she had left

No one out there

Because

Everyone is somewhere

No negativity

Because there's no positiveness

No hero

As heroin is dead

No smile

For a grudge

Nothing more is all you have left

No hair

When you have no brain

No more things unsaid

Everything was widespread

No more happy family

Without a marriage

No soul

No body

No head

No brain

No desire

No more

nada

18th october

It has been a year
And I havent forget a single thing about you
And I know you know what it means
That means I love you
And I truly loves you

I’ve been thinking..
Can I have you on your birthday?

And I keep thinking a lot
I think I need you on your birthday


Would you come here for me on your birthday?
Would you sacrifice once?

Just once on 18th october

Just this time on your birthday

Just one night on your birthday

I need you on your birthday



Psycho!!

2:34 am Saturday

14th August 2010

woudnt it be nothing

Wouldn’t it be nice to just sit?

And look at your pretty face

Wouldn’t it be nice to just smile?

And analyze your etiquette

Wouldn’t it be nice to stick around?

And watch you regret and cry

Wouldn’t it be nice to just tease?

And watch you fall down so hard

But that is you

I’m nothing like you

You’re cruel and you’re heartless

You open your heart to another

I’ll be loyal as loyal as I am

But nothing seems to be fair

And nothing seems to make sense

And nothing seems to have what it takes

And nothing

Nothing nothing nothing

thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you

thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you\
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
for all of your time when you were with me..

never a vengeance

you were laughing
you were smiling
do you think you're happy?

you were asking
why i vanished
you dont know
what i've become
you dont know
why i cried
you dont know

why are you lonely still?

you were neglecting
you were selfish
i was selfless
for your happiness

now i'm bearing
a grudge against you

never a vengeance
never a true love
never get your love
never ever love
never never never love

i wish you were in my shoes

if only you know how it feels
if only you know how hard it is
if only you never leave
if only you have time to reminisce
oh how
i wish you were in my shoes
let you live in my sober life
never being able to put a smile
never being able to have a good life

i wish you were in my shoes
to feel what i'm feeling
to live the life im living
to dream of my dreams

i wish you understand how it feels
to force a smile on your face
to fake a laugh to be healed

to go out and hang out when its hard

oh how
i wish you were in my shoes

bukan berdansa

ketap bibir kau si manis
bertahan dan jangan nagis
beristighfar bila kau sedih
tiada kuasa selain dia
temukan ketenanganmu
temukan keindahanNya
kau kan sedar kau buang masa
dan hilang semua resah

lakukan lakukan
apa yang kau mahu
asalkan asalkan
kau tak lari jauh
pekakkan pekakkan
semua hamun

lupakan lupakan
deritamu
tak apa tak apa
kejar bahagia
tetapi bukan berdansa
kau punya minda
jagalah dia

be wise

being a looser doesnt mean you loose..
being a looser is a process to win..

if someone dumbed you, that doesnt mean you are dumb
that is because you shoudnt be with the one who can easily dumb you..

when your ex says that you will always be part of him,
he lied because being part of someone's life is a beautiful words and he shoudnt left you in the first place..

when your boyfriend live with another girl when you were still together,
dont leave him,. make him suffer,.. and then leave..

when your heart break,.
have a break

when you cant think straight..
just walk straight ahead and do not turn back

when he told you that it was your fault you guys breaking up,..
dont listen because he's sucks at making excuses..

when you're sad,..
write something..

when you're down, dont go down.. climb up ..

when you have no money,..
and you're sad,
sing out loud and cry

when you are desperate for sex, masturbate..

when he dont give you a good sex,
teach him how to
when your friends fucked up
tell them to fuck off

when your future sister in law dont like you,
tell her you dont care

when your bad memories comes back,
dont go back.. go out.. get out..

when you feel like crying,..
find a place that no one will hear, cry you heart out  and then get out..

when someone cheat on you,.
laugh..

when there's nothing left to say..
walk away..