tiga purnama aku duduk kaku
tiga purnama aku termangu sayu
tiga purnama aku menangis berlagu
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Saturday, October 1, 2011
my bestfriend's lie
shes beautiful in and out..
we've been bestfriend since i was 12 and she was 11..
eversince that age, we did everything together and we kept no secret..
and to us, it is totally normal if we had fight.. because we totally understand each other..
we were mad for each other for days and we cant live without each other either..
whenever we had fight, we never keep anything inside to spoil our best relationship that ever existed.. i loved her and i know she loved me too..
that's why we are special..
when we were in high school,
all the kids always thought that we were lesbian.
and we let them think that way coz we thought its kinda cool.. ( yea right.. )
and as the relationship goes on and on and on,.
we went through tough times together.
Everything we did, we did it together.
when i was 17, i went through my tough teenage crisis
where my first love was a total jerk,. (thats y he left in the first place)..
i was just too naive to understand and to handle such simple and stupid teenage drama..
i cried so hard coz i lost my first love.. and guess what..
there she is,. be there for me every single minute when i was down.
she said
she can feel my pain just by looking at me crying like that.
( and i think everyone cudve said the same thing whenever they saw me cry horribly),.
but its diferent when your bestfriend's the one who said it,.
maybe thats because no one said it and she's the only bestfriend i got and yea,. she said it.. so,.
i really do aprechiate her for being there for me all the time..
most of the time,. i always experienced things before her ( i wonder why ),.
like having a jerk as a boyfriend,. i remember she said
" i dont know how to advice you coz ive never felt this way,. but i know i will understand one day and i know everyone will surely experience these kinda thing,. which including me,. and right now you have to be powerfully strong for me so that you'll learn your lesson and you have to be there for me whenever i need your advice.."
the way she said it is different.. and it works..
its undeniable that every each type of relationship does have their ups and down..
we do had fights,. we do snarl to each other sometimes, we do had different opinions here and there..
but most of the time, we laugh together..
ave you ever feel so seriously comfortable with someone in your life whenever you shared a secret that cudve ruin your life if they spill that secret's out? but you just know in your heart that that someone will never let you down?
thats what i always feel about her whenever i share my secrets.. she is trustworthy,. enough said..
i always so jealous (in a positive way) of her life..
she seems to be always luckier than me.. in school,. everyone wanna be her friends,.
and every guy wants to be her boyfriend and so on,.
coz i know she is kind hearted (originally,. not plastic at all) and plus, she's beautiful..
but she always end up seeking advice from me,.
telling me stories and secrets that no one knows except me,.
because i am her bestfriend and she said im the only one who understands her.. truly.. :)
as she is now a stewardess,. and living her busy scheduled life,.
she said she could hv been happier if im with her,.
i trust her words coz she always meant what she said..
whenever we meet up,. we laughed so hard and even if we had those big fat full of shits life,.
it doesnt matter at all,. we will always feel better whenever we are together..
and last two weeks,.
we planned ourselves a nice vacation with few friends invited and few grasses ordered to get high to have a great fucking time together..
i waited for her for like two weeks for this vacation. but turn out to be,.
she let me down.. so hard..
she said she was stucked somewhere in China coz theres a problem with her flight there..
( i was worried like hell but she never answer any of my calls.. so i assume there's something wrong with the coverage maybe .. )
and so i waited for her msgs and calls.. but yea,. no single msg,. no call,. nothing ..
and then the next day she said
"im sorry i cudnt meet you coz i need to meet Bad". ( Bad is her current bf )
and there goes my dissapointment..
and i tried to ignore those disappointment coz i know how she loved him,.
and how she always wanted to be with him and things like that,..
and so i ignore my anger towards her..
but then the next day she suddenly leave me a strange message to my number..
" im sorry i cudnt make it,. please dont be mad,. i just arrived from KJ,. i was stuck in China for two days.. i promise i'll make it up to you, pls dont be mad.."
and i was like
WWWWHHHHAAAATTT TTTHHEEEE FFFFUUUUUCCCCKKK?????
was she drunk when she told me that she needed to meet her bf that she accidentally told me the truth?
and i cant stand it i have to reply her.. i said
"i thought you said you need to meet your boyfriend.." ( without a question mark,. u know what i mean?)
and she didnt reply me until now..
things could have been better if she just tell me the truth, isnt she?
and i cud hv never be this mad if she just call me and tell me that she wants to spend time with his lovly bf..
i wont mind.. but i cant stand that she lied to me and she accidentally told me the truth and then lie again.. was she drunk or has she lost her mind?
i was totally disappointed.. and how i felt is unexplainable ..
but what greatbestfriends are for if they dont forgive and forget right.. ?
im sure this will be one of our jokes one day..
no matter what she did to me i'll still love her..
and im writing this because i missed her..
Sunday, September 18, 2011
jika tidak berjaya
jika kita tidak berjaya
jangan lemah dengan kata kata
jika kita tidak berjaya
jangan inginkan apa yang tiada
jika kita tidak berjaya
ini bukan kali pertama
bangkit sahaja jiwa dan raga
jika kita tidak berjaya
jangan lemah dimamah usia
jangan tidur dengan lena
jangan makan maggi segera
jika kita tidak berjaya
usaha lagi hingga berjaya
jangan lemah dengan kata kata
jika kita tidak berjaya
jangan inginkan apa yang tiada
jika kita tidak berjaya
ini bukan kali pertama
bangkit sahaja jiwa dan raga
jika kita tidak berjaya
jangan lemah dimamah usia
jangan tidur dengan lena
jangan makan maggi segera
jika kita tidak berjaya
usaha lagi hingga berjaya
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
MALAM PERTAMA KITA
yang merah jadi hitam
yang putih jadi kelam
yang hijau jadi manis
yang pahit jadi sinis
rosak satu aqidah
rosak dua aqidah
pecah satu tembelang
pecah dua tembelang
tiada adab lagi yang tinggal
tiada kata lagi yang sopan
makin banyak rahsia perlu disimpan
satu perigi diamkan diri
satu timba yang mencari cari
mereka saling cinta mencintai
mereka sesat di alam fantasi
teruna berkeris mula berseru
"telanjangkan dirimu satu persatu
kucuplah aku puaskan hatimu"
terkulai sidara dihanyut nafsu
lalu dia merayu rayu
"ratah dada ku semahu kamu
keraskan batangmu, puaskan aku!"
keringat tadi belum lagi hilang
lagi sekali kita di ranjang
lagi sekali kita telanjang
tapi janji, jangan ada yang hilang
yang longlai menjadi kaku
yang berkata kini bisu
yang ketawa bertukar sayu
yang keliru menjadi satu
yang berdosa kau dan aku!!
yang putih jadi kelam
yang hijau jadi manis
yang pahit jadi sinis
rosak satu aqidah
rosak dua aqidah
pecah satu tembelang
pecah dua tembelang
tiada adab lagi yang tinggal
tiada kata lagi yang sopan
makin banyak rahsia perlu disimpan
satu perigi diamkan diri
satu timba yang mencari cari
mereka saling cinta mencintai
mereka sesat di alam fantasi
teruna berkeris mula berseru
"telanjangkan dirimu satu persatu
kucuplah aku puaskan hatimu"
terkulai sidara dihanyut nafsu
lalu dia merayu rayu
"ratah dada ku semahu kamu
keraskan batangmu, puaskan aku!"
keringat tadi belum lagi hilang
lagi sekali kita di ranjang
lagi sekali kita telanjang
tapi janji, jangan ada yang hilang
yang longlai menjadi kaku
yang berkata kini bisu
yang ketawa bertukar sayu
yang keliru menjadi satu
yang berdosa kau dan aku!!
NOTHING LEFT
No more hopes
Just ropes
No dreams
Because there's no sleep
No happiness
But hollowness
No more love bird
Just mocking bird
No more you
Because there's no me
No captivation
As there are no interest
Nothing more is all he had left
Nothing more is all she had left
No one out there
Because
Everyone is somewhere
No negativity
Because there's no positiveness
No hero
As heroin is dead
No smile
For a grudge
Nothing more is all you have left
No hair
When you have no brain
No more things unsaid
Everything was widespread
No more happy family
Without a marriage
No soul
No body
No head
No brain
No desire
No more
nada
Thursday, August 26, 2010
18th october
It has been a year
And I havent forget a single thing about you
And I know you know what it means
That means I love you
And I truly loves you
I’ve been thinking..
Can I have you on your birthday?
And I keep thinking a lot
I think I need you on your birthday
Would you come here for me on your birthday?
Would you sacrifice once?
Just once on 18th october
Just this time on your birthday
Just one night on your birthday
I need you on your birthday
Psycho!!
2:34 am Saturday
14th August 2010
And I havent forget a single thing about you
And I know you know what it means
That means I love you
And I truly loves you
I’ve been thinking..
Can I have you on your birthday?
And I keep thinking a lot
I think I need you on your birthday
Would you come here for me on your birthday?
Would you sacrifice once?
Just once on 18th october
Just this time on your birthday
Just one night on your birthday
I need you on your birthday
Psycho!!
2:34 am Saturday
14th August 2010
Sunday, August 15, 2010
woudnt it be nothing
Wouldn’t it be nice to just sit?
And look at your pretty face
Wouldn’t it be nice to just smile?
And analyze your etiquette
Wouldn’t it be nice to stick around?
And watch you regret and cry
Wouldn’t it be nice to just tease?
And watch you fall down so hard
But that is you
I’m nothing like you
You’re cruel and you’re heartless
You open your heart to another
I’ll be loyal as loyal as I am
But nothing seems to be fair
And nothing seems to make sense
And nothing seems to have what it takes
And nothing
Nothing nothing nothing
And look at your pretty face
Wouldn’t it be nice to just smile?
And analyze your etiquette
Wouldn’t it be nice to stick around?
And watch you regret and cry
Wouldn’t it be nice to just tease?
And watch you fall down so hard
But that is you
I’m nothing like you
You’re cruel and you’re heartless
You open your heart to another
I’ll be loyal as loyal as I am
But nothing seems to be fair
And nothing seems to make sense
And nothing seems to have what it takes
And nothing
Nothing nothing nothing
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you\
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
for all of your time when you were with me..
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you\
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
for all of your time when you were with me..
never a vengeance
you were laughing
you were smiling
do you think you're happy?
you were asking
why i vanished
you dont know
what i've become
you dont know
why i cried
you dont know
why are you lonely still?
you were neglecting
you were selfish
i was selfless
for your happiness
now i'm bearing
a grudge against you
never a vengeance
never a true love
never get your love
never ever love
never never never love
you were smiling
do you think you're happy?
you were asking
why i vanished
you dont know
what i've become
you dont know
why i cried
you dont know
why are you lonely still?
you were neglecting
you were selfish
i was selfless
for your happiness
now i'm bearing
a grudge against you
never a vengeance
never a true love
never get your love
never ever love
never never never love
i wish you were in my shoes
if only you know how it feels
if only you know how hard it is
if only you never leave
if only you have time to reminisce
oh how
i wish you were in my shoes
let you live in my sober life
never being able to put a smile
never being able to have a good life
i wish you were in my shoes
to feel what i'm feeling
to live the life im living
to dream of my dreams
i wish you understand how it feels
to force a smile on your face
to fake a laugh to be healed
to go out and hang out when its hard
oh how
i wish you were in my shoes
if only you know how hard it is
if only you never leave
if only you have time to reminisce
oh how
i wish you were in my shoes
let you live in my sober life
never being able to put a smile
never being able to have a good life
i wish you were in my shoes
to feel what i'm feeling
to live the life im living
to dream of my dreams
i wish you understand how it feels
to force a smile on your face
to fake a laugh to be healed
to go out and hang out when its hard
oh how
i wish you were in my shoes
bukan berdansa
ketap bibir kau si manis
bertahan dan jangan nagis
beristighfar bila kau sedih
tiada kuasa selain dia
temukan ketenanganmu
temukan keindahanNya
kau kan sedar kau buang masa
dan hilang semua resah
lakukan lakukan
apa yang kau mahu
asalkan asalkan
kau tak lari jauh
pekakkan pekakkan
semua hamun
lupakan lupakan
deritamu
tak apa tak apa
kejar bahagia
tetapi bukan berdansa
kau punya minda
jagalah dia
bertahan dan jangan nagis
beristighfar bila kau sedih
tiada kuasa selain dia
temukan ketenanganmu
temukan keindahanNya
kau kan sedar kau buang masa
dan hilang semua resah
lakukan lakukan
apa yang kau mahu
asalkan asalkan
kau tak lari jauh
pekakkan pekakkan
semua hamun
lupakan lupakan
deritamu
tak apa tak apa
kejar bahagia
tetapi bukan berdansa
kau punya minda
jagalah dia
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
be wise
being a looser doesnt mean you loose..
being a looser is a process to win..
if someone dumbed you, that doesnt mean you are dumb
that is because you shoudnt be with the one who can easily dumb you..
when your ex says that you will always be part of him,
he lied because being part of someone's life is a beautiful words and he shoudnt left you in the first place..
when your boyfriend live with another girl when you were still together,
dont leave him,. make him suffer,.. and then leave..
when your heart break,.
have a break
when you cant think straight..
just walk straight ahead and do not turn back
when he told you that it was your fault you guys breaking up,..
dont listen because he's sucks at making excuses..
when you're sad,..
write something..
when you're down, dont go down.. climb up ..
when you have no money,..
and you're sad,
sing out loud and cry
when you are desperate for sex, masturbate..
when he dont give you a good sex,
teach him how to
when your friends fucked up
tell them to fuck off
when your future sister in law dont like you,
tell her you dont care
when your bad memories comes back,
dont go back.. go out.. get out..
when you feel like crying,..
find a place that no one will hear, cry you heart out and then get out..
when someone cheat on you,.
laugh..
when there's nothing left to say..
walk away..
being a looser is a process to win..
if someone dumbed you, that doesnt mean you are dumb
that is because you shoudnt be with the one who can easily dumb you..
when your ex says that you will always be part of him,
he lied because being part of someone's life is a beautiful words and he shoudnt left you in the first place..
when your boyfriend live with another girl when you were still together,
dont leave him,. make him suffer,.. and then leave..
when your heart break,.
have a break
when you cant think straight..
just walk straight ahead and do not turn back
when he told you that it was your fault you guys breaking up,..
dont listen because he's sucks at making excuses..
when you're sad,..
write something..
when you're down, dont go down.. climb up ..
when you have no money,..
and you're sad,
sing out loud and cry
when you are desperate for sex, masturbate..
when he dont give you a good sex,
teach him how to
when your friends fucked up
tell them to fuck off
when your future sister in law dont like you,
tell her you dont care
when your bad memories comes back,
dont go back.. go out.. get out..
when you feel like crying,..
find a place that no one will hear, cry you heart out and then get out..
when someone cheat on you,.
laugh..
when there's nothing left to say..
walk away..
Thursday, June 10, 2010
an ugly duck who do nothing than judge others
who am i to judge you? im nothing more than just an ugly clown who always talk bad stuff about other people's life.. i am ugly.. that is why i bother everyone.. no one cares to bother me..
my name is duck. an ugly duck. i make noises. irritating kind of noises. no one loves me. just my family. that because they don't really know what i did. cos all this while, i've been creating bad and false stories about people's life..
i know my life sucks. i know im not pretty. because im nothing more than just an ugly duck. i always bother this one girl. im jealous of her. she's pretty. she have a very loving boyfriend. her boyfriend used to be my best-friend's boyfriend but they broke up because my bestfriend dumb that guy and fucked other guy behind him.
and this one pretty girl come and save his life. live with him,.. feed him love and good sex.
and i am very jealous because no matter how they fight, they'll always patch things back.. how sick am i?
i tell all my friends about how bad attitude this girl has. but no one seems to listen. everyone point their middle finger straight to my face..
no one believes me.. just my few stupid and feeble minded friends. i stick with them because they are stupid, they seems to listen and believe every false story i created. thank you stupid friends. you guys are my saviour..
i wanna keep doing this. i don't wanna stop. im still jealous of her. i wanna keep creating bad false stories about her and make everyone come to me and says, "duck, you're a fucking ugly duck!!"
the end.
my name is duck. an ugly duck. i make noises. irritating kind of noises. no one loves me. just my family. that because they don't really know what i did. cos all this while, i've been creating bad and false stories about people's life..
i know my life sucks. i know im not pretty. because im nothing more than just an ugly duck. i always bother this one girl. im jealous of her. she's pretty. she have a very loving boyfriend. her boyfriend used to be my best-friend's boyfriend but they broke up because my bestfriend dumb that guy and fucked other guy behind him.
and this one pretty girl come and save his life. live with him,.. feed him love and good sex.
and i am very jealous because no matter how they fight, they'll always patch things back.. how sick am i?
i tell all my friends about how bad attitude this girl has. but no one seems to listen. everyone point their middle finger straight to my face..
no one believes me.. just my few stupid and feeble minded friends. i stick with them because they are stupid, they seems to listen and believe every false story i created. thank you stupid friends. you guys are my saviour..
i wanna keep doing this. i don't wanna stop. im still jealous of her. i wanna keep creating bad false stories about her and make everyone come to me and says, "duck, you're a fucking ugly duck!!"
the end.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
face of fear
she dont emerge in your dreams
have she ever loved you
she vanished herself
and tonight seems darker than any other night
you're too week to fight
you heard instigation in your imagination
give up yourself and die
you heard instigation in your imagination
get out of that room
you got out and begin your muddle walk
you walk to where the music leads you
you walk fowards and hold your tears
you hold it hard
it slashed your heart
you close your lips
and hold your breath
you clench your fist and start to pray
have she ever loved you
she vanished herself
and tonight seems darker than any other night
you're too week to fight
you heard instigation in your imagination
give up yourself and die
you heard instigation in your imagination
get out of that room
you got out and begin your muddle walk
you walk to where the music leads you
you walk fowards and hold your tears
you hold it hard
it slashed your heart
you close your lips
and hold your breath
you clench your fist and start to pray
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